I would say that the key components of change are 1) Clarity, seeing the truth in your life 2) Possibility, seeing what is possible and also where you'd want to go 3) Decision, the bridge between where you are (which requires clarity) and possibility, and the commitment to follow through. 9
A lot is possible with simply clarity. For instance, when you notice that you talk too much, then you simply stop. You don't need to force yourself to stop, or learn what you have to do, it comes up naturally. But for more complex changes you also need some imagination in terms of what you can do, which is why you cannot simply quit an addiction for instance, and some skills to bridge towards that.
Expanding on that example, to quit an addiction you need to get a broader picture of the network of reasons of why you engage in said activity—dealing with stress and being bored are the main ones, but there is also avoiding pain and rejection, using it as social bonding and also getting a sense of achievement for some addictive loops—as well as think and commit to better ways of using your freed up time and energy, otherwise you're probably just going to default to your usual ways.
5 See for instance the 4 F’s model, which I find excellent to see the types of responses that we engage in when we are stuck in emotional overwhelm.
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2024-08-05